Fear of the unknown is common. No many women are exempt from this when it comes to childbirth. Women have not been exposed to natural childbirth anymore. We are unsure how our bodies work to bring our baby earthside. If we aren’t careful the anxiety can overcome us and ruin the wonderful experience that birth can bring!
Fear... it lies, it manipulates, it causes confusion and it's a thief. When fear is allowed to come into your pregnancy and your birth there are side effects. You may start saying things like,
"I'm so scared of the pain.. I just can't wait to get the epidural."
"My doctor said...x,y,z... so I'm just going to do that."
“I’m afraid of tearing”
"I'm 39 weeks and I'm only 1cm dilated... I'm worried I'll never go into labor."
"All that matters is a healthy baby."
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences."
Every time you let a fearful thought take a hold of your mind and speak it out loud you are missing the amazing experience and benefits of walking in the power of love and faith. When you have fear you are more easily manipulated, confused, and missing out on the benefits of making a decision out of a sound mind. Keep reading and find out how fear is a powerful force that can manipulate, confuse and steal from you.
Fear manipulates:
“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.” ~Aristotle
Let me give you an example of using fear (that is already present) to manipulate you during labor.
"You are 40 weeks and the risk of having a stillborn doubles in after that so let's set up an induction date so that your baby can get here safely."
Fear: Baby will die
Manipulation: Manipulated to induce.
Truth: Real stat says still birth increases from .53 per 1000 at 40 weeks to .68 per 1000 at 41 weeks and 1.7 per thousand after that....https://evidencebasedbirth.com/studies-that-calculate-risk-of-stillbirth-by-gestational-age/
Fear causes confusion:
Here is an example:
"My doctor said that my baby is too big to deliver vaginally but I have delivered a big baby before but the ultrasound said so I scheduled an induction at 39weeks."
Fear: Baby is too big
Confusion: You've delivered a big baby before, why can't you with this one?
Truth: Follow your intuition, most bodies grow babies exactly the right size for their body.
Fear is a thief:
There is a long list of benefits of having a baby naturally. Fear will tell you that labor is:
torture
pain that you can't run away from
an illness
something to be saved from
something you're not strong enough to get through
that "failing" to having a natural birth makes you a "failure" so why try?
When you allow fear to come into your mind, twist the truth and make your decisions for you then you miss out on the experiences and benefits that a natural birth can bring.
I hope I don't have to say this but just in case there is a lady reading this and is saying, "well sometimes you can't have a natural birth and it's not for everyone.." I hear you... I see you... I know that not every women will have or want or get a natural birth BUT every women needs to know that she is capable. She is strong, she is able to push away fearful thoughts, and make decisions out of a sound and powerful mindset.
We as women have forgotten that we were made for this. Birth is not pathology... it's not something that needs fixed... don't let fear steal the joy that childbirth can bring!
If you're still reading this still I want to give you some helpful tips to use throughout your pregnancy to help you get rid of the fear!
Expose yourself to natural childbirth-
When we see bodies work the way they were designed over and over and over again we start to believe that we are capable as well! We start to see the beauty that childbirth is. We start to see how strong women are. We start to see the power that we have but rarely use! You can watch YouTube Videos on birth, listen to podcasts, read books, take a birth course or an empowerment course to see what natural childbirth is like.
Take every thought captive-
Fearful and negative thoughts are inevitable. We are always going to struggle with them. Fear is an emotion that can keep us safe but it’s when that fear turns into anxiety and we start to dwell on the fear that it becomes a problem. This is a practice that takes work. When you get it down you will most likely need to use it daily!
Here’s how it goes… it’s almost too simple! First step, Acknowledge the fearful thought. Second Step, Identify the truth from the lies. If you have to write it out then do that! If you haven’t encountered this fear before and you don’t know the truth or the fact then I encourage you to do some research so you can dispel the fear. Third Step, Delete.. Delete.. Now you have identified the fear and the lie so now picture that in your head and delete it! Use the backspace and watch the fear disappear. Fourth Step, Now that this fear has been deleted replace it with the truth and with something positive.
Let me walk you through and example of how this would work.
Step One: Acknowledge the Fearful Thought
Fearful Thought: “Your doctor said your pelvis is too small. You’re not going to be able to deliver this one vaginally!”
Step Two: Identify the Truth from the Lie
Truth: It is rare that a pelvis is too small to deliver a baby. Most of the time it is a position problem.
Lie: I am not going to be able to deliver my baby vaginally
Step Three: Delete.. Delete..
“I am not going to be able to deliver my baby va…”
Step Four: Replace
“I will be able to deliver my baby vaginally!”
There you have it! You have just taken that thought captive and have trained your mind to only dwell on the positive!
Mama… you’ve got this! You are in control of the thoughts you let in. And your thoughts can shape your belief and your belief can shape your decisions. Fight to find the truth. Fight against the fear! You are strong and powerful and I have full confidence that you can conquer the fear of childbirth and have an amazing experience!
BE BOLD, BE POWERFUL, BE INTUITIVE!
If you are looking for a community of women to help you process your fear and support you throughout your pregnancy and birth journey join us over at The Empowered Mama's Birth Tribe on Facebook!